Time to check into the moron relocation program

John Mayer one of Hollywood’s most sleaziest entertainers, confided to a Playboy reporter that he doesn’t have sex with black women.

Adding his penis is like a white supremacist, comparing it to David Duke.  Mayer was also able to drop a few N bombs during the interview as well.

Were guessing there wont be a follow up duet with Kanye.

"Carmen my ears are getting cold, could I..."

John Mayer was recently asked about the Tiger Woods situation, essentially Mayer believes that there would be no story if Woods was single.  Adding, sending texts like  “I want to wear your ass like a hat”, are part of his courting routine.

One wonders if Mayers debut album would have been more commercially successful if he changed the title of  “your body is a wonderland”  to “I want to wear your ass like a hat”.

Photo Credit: PRD / Leon / Retna Digital

Jennifer Aniston just lost John Mayers phone number

Multiple sources are reporting that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have split, news comes only days after the couple contributed 1 million dollars to the Haiti relief fund.

Pitt & Jolie have a number of children together, coupled with the fact that Jennifer Aniston is lurking in the shadows, this will no doubt be a headlining story for the remainder of 2010.

Photo Credit: Sara De Boer / Retna Ltd.

He does realize she used to date John Mayer right?

So here’s the scene… Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler are backstage at the Golden Globes, in a kitchen, popping bottles of champagne, when all of the sudden Butler puts the “Scottish” on her and they start getting hot and heavy in between the foie gras & cheetos.

This probably seemed like a classy date for Aniston, considering she’s used to taking whatever John Mayer can give her, when he’s not tired from diddling younger, hotter and blonder starlets.

Photo Credit: Wenn

"Whoops, I just shoved my phone in my mouth...again!"

Media savvy John Mayer responded to reports of extensive lip singing by Britney Spears on her circus tour, by tweeting “If you’re shocked that Britney was lip-syncing at her concert and want your money back, life may continue to be hard for you.”

No response from the Spears camp, but if they do respond, we have a zinger they can use “If you’re shocked that John Mayer is still bankable after singing the same song, album after album and having the real life persona of Glen Quagmire, then your not John Mayer”

Giggidy Giggidy.

Brad "The Natural" Pitt vs Jen "Plastic" Aniston

It’s been a while now since Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston divorced. So we at milkdog thought it would be a good time to pick a post divorce winner.

Let’s roll the facts:

• Pitt married the sexiest woman alive.
• Aniston has been on the “fringe A list” dating circuit for a while now, see John Mayer. Point Pitt.
• Pitt has a healthy brood of beautiful children who he whores out to the press, for selective publicity.
• Aniston dates men who whore her out to the press, see John Mayer. Point Pitt.
• If history is any indicator, Pitt will probably trade Jolie in soon, were thinking Megan Fox will be the likely upgrade.
• Aniston is more of a recycler, so using highly advanced probability theory and regression analysis, we predict Vince Vaughn will be back in the mix asap. Point Pitt.

Shutout win for Pitt.