Archive for the ‘Lindsay Lohan’ category

Lindsay The Liar

December 13th, 2009
The Gandhi of Beverly Hills

The Gandhi of Beverly Hills

Lilo is at it again, she recently twittered that she had rescued 40 children in India. Upon further investigation, it turned out Lindsay was not even in the country at the time of her tweet.

In an unrelated tweet, Lindsay claimed to also be advising the Dali Lama on Tibetan-Chinese relations and president Obama on health care reform.

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Lindsay Lohan Brings The Party To India

December 12th, 2009
Lindsay feverishly looking for lesbians and tequila in Mumbai

At least Lindsay brought the right shoes for Mumbai

Lindsay Lohan arrived in India earlier this week to film a documentary for the BBC.

It seems a little odd, Lohan who has been sheltered from reality all her life and lead a life of celebrity excess, is now a filming a documentary about the struggles of the Indian people.

This is either 1. An elaborate PR stunt, to salvage some of her image or 2. An elaborate filming of TLC’s intervention, to address lilo’s countless vices.

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Fez Looking To Take Avril Lavigne’s Virginity

November 19th, 2009
The Fezster has Avril Lavigne in his sights

The Fezster has Avril Lavigne in his sights

It appears Wilmer Valderrama aka Fez, is getting busy with Avril Lavigne, who recently filed for divorce from sum 41 singer Deryck Whibley.

The two were spotted at LA night club wonderland Saturday night and on lookers say they were getting ‘cozy’, and everyone knows cozy leads to doggystyle.

Fez has a pattern of hooking up with celebs that are more successful than he is and according to him taking their virginity, i.e. Mandy Moore & Lindsay Lohan…. I think he means dignity.

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Secrets To Looking 10 Years Older, By Lindsay Lohan

October 30th, 2009
Lilo at Lax, looking like she was ridden hard and hung up to dry.

Lilo at Lax, looking like she was ridden hard and hung up to dry.

We’ve all seen the recent pics of Lindsay Lohan looking 10 to 20 years older than she actually is. As a public service announcement we have acquired a summary of Lilos regimen:

Breakfast, bacon with a highball smoothie of vodka and wild turkey. Lunch, a Cesar salad and 8 to 10 lines of blow. Dinner, Jello and 4 tabs of E. Exercise consists of casual sex between 3 to 4 partners per night.

Look for the companion book ‘The Venice Beach Diet’, coming to a Barnes and Nobles soon.

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What’s Wrong With Jessica Simpson?

October 17th, 2009
Whats not to like?

"Do you want 2 or 3 coats of wax on that Tony?"

From the outside looking in, one would think Jessica Simpson would be a dream girlfriend or wife. However she’s been dumped more times than Lindsay Lohan has switched teams.

Her most recent dumper was Tony Romo. We can only conclude that Tony became disenchanted with Jessica’s father talking about her breasts at the dinner table, while Romo tried to stomach Pete Wentz’s company.

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Most Hated Stars

October 15th, 2009
Whats not to like?

Whats not to like?

There are some celebrities that give us all a guttural reaction when we see or hear them.

Here’s our list for the 3 most loathed stars in Hollywood:

  • Tom Cruise
    Then: Once an American heartthrob and the most bankable actor in Hollywood.
    Now: Self appointed grand Grand Poobah of Scientology, who’s marriage makes Woody Allens look normal.
  • Jack Black
    Then: We have no f#@#$%@g idea!
    Now: The lyrics ‘money for nothing and your chicks for free’ come to mind. No one has accomplished so much, with so little talent.
  • Lindsay Lohan
    Then: The adorable *gagh* little star of the revamped parent trap franchise.
    Now: The on again, off again lesbian has not produced anything of relevance since she made out with Christina Aguilera…. no wait, wrong skank.
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