"Listen to this boys...I told Hillary I have RPS and bang, boom I’m back to nailing interns!"

Tiger Woods finally admitted what everyone has assumed for the past few days. He diddled a cocktail waitress or as Tiger would put it ‘transgressions’.

Transgressions? Compared to Clinton’s “I did have a relationship with Ms.Lewinsky that was inappropriate” and Mark Sanford’s taking a walk in Argentina explanation, transgressions is PR gold.

We’d like to throw a new explanation out there, that we hope will be the gold standard in infidelity related press releases:

“Our client (insert douche bags name here), suffers from a severe ailment called RPS (restless penis syndrome). While research continues at numerous massage parlors and gentleman clubs, a cure has yet to be found. Thank you for your well wishes and support”