Archive for the ‘Tiger Woods’ category

Tiger Woods Divorce To Cost Over $20,000,000

December 4th, 2009
Time to get back to the links Tiger.... theres children, wives and mistress to pay

Time to get back to the links Tiger.... there’s child support, alimony and mistresses to pay

The saga continues for the chopper endowed Tiger Woods. The latest news from an endless line of “sources”, is that the Woods prenuptial agreement was rewritten. The new prenuptial supposedly includes a cash settlement that is substantially more than the original $20,000,000 agreed upon.

So far three women have come forward alleging to have had a tryst with Woods……. Let’s be modest and assume 2 more will come forward. That would technically mean woods paid $4,000,000 per matrimonial violation. He would probably pay 100 times that, for all this drama to go away.

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Tiger Woods Learns the Meaning of C.R.E.A.M

December 3rd, 2009
http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2005/Dec-22-Thu-2005/photos/3club.jpg

"I dont get it... now your going to pay me money to close my mouth?"

Cash Rules Everything Around Me (C.R.E.A.M) is the mantra and a top hit for Wu-Tang clans RZA and Old Dirty Bastard.

Tiger Woods is beginning to learn that lesson the hard way. Who would of thought RZA and Old Dirty Bastard would be dropping knowledge on Tiger Woods?

Reports are now surfacing that Rachel Uchitel was in contact with Tiger Woods, prior to Friday’s accident, leading to speculation that a money for silence deal was in the works even before the “accident”.

Messy, Messy, Messy.

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Tiger Woods Has RPS

December 2nd, 2009
"Get this I told Hillary I have RPS and bang, boom I’m back to nailing Interns!"

"Listen to this boys...I told Hillary I have RPS and bang, boom I’m back to nailing interns!"

Tiger Woods finally admitted what everyone has assumed for the past few days. He diddled a cocktail waitress or as Tiger would put it ‘transgressions’.

Transgressions? Compared to Clinton’s “I did have a relationship with Ms.Lewinsky that was inappropriate” and Mark Sanford’s taking a walk in Argentina explanation, transgressions is PR gold.

We’d like to throw a new explanation out there, that we hope will be the gold standard in infidelity related press releases:

“Our client (insert douche bags name here), suffers from a severe ailment called RPS (restless penis syndrome). While research continues at numerous massage parlors and gentleman clubs, a cure has yet to be found. Thank you for your well wishes and support”

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Tiger Woods Is Above The Law

November 30th, 2009
He's a Golfer out for justice... at any cost

He's a golfer out for justice... at any cost

Tiger Woods must be a big Steven Seagal fan, as he apparently views himself as “Above The Law”.

Since his weekend Cadillac mishap, Tiger has been on the run from authorities, canceling 3 interviews with Florida police.

Tiger did give a generic statement from his website, asking for privacy, respect yadda yadda yadda.

A Swedish super model, a man named Tiger on the run from the law…. wasn’t this a James Bond movie?

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Tiger Woods Wife Tees Off On His Face?

November 27th, 2009
This is what Tiger Woods used to look like

This is what Tiger Woods used to look like

It was reported yesterday that Tiger Woods was involved in a low speed collision is his driveway that resulted in a laceration to his face.

Now reports are surfacing that the result of his cuts may have been caused by his wife Elin Nordegren.

Could the former Swedish model have heard about rumors that Woods was having an affair and teed off on his big bright grill?

It could of been worse, at least Woods is not a biathlon champion.

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