The Russian "situation"

There have been various ads placed in newspapers across the United States, calling on Russian “Snookies” & “Situations”.

Apparently MTV is expanding its “Shore” franchise in the hopes of marginalizing and humiliating other ethnicities and now they have young Russians in there sights.

So if your a vodka drinking, borscht eating, jacked up Russian boy or girl hit up the pimps at MTV.

Were not sure who to blame here, Snoop Dogg for inviting Paris to rap with him or Paris for existing.

If you can stomach 15 seconds of this video your probably a bulimic alcoholic.

Terry bending it like..... well Terry.

In North America Tiger Woods has galvanized himself as the world foremost carouser of women.

However across the Atlantic, in jolly old England, there is a soccer player by the name of Johny Terry, that makes Woods look like Bryant Gumbel.

Not only is John Terry married to a model caliber piece of tail, he’s gone through girls in there teens, in bathrooms, parking lots and locker rooms.

But the topper is Terry banged his best friends wife Wayne Bridge, not a big deal until you consider they play together on the same team both nationally and professionally.

The new and improved Carrot Top can also hit 500 foot home runs.

Remeber when Carrot Top was a skinny mildly amusing prop comic? well that was a loooong time ago.

The recent version of Carrot Top looks like a juiced up Tim Burton character, who has his orange dial set to high.

"Take the dam picture!... Im out of shape!"

The day before he set up is artificial press conference, Tiger Woods also set up an artificial photo shoot.

The highly circulated Getty Images photos of Tiger Woods jogging in his Nike kit, were just another part of Team Tigers elaborate PR campaign.

Were guessing Team Tiger wanted to show Tiger doing something other than diddling cocktail waitresses.

Aren't press conferences supposed to have questions?

Tiger Woods completed his mea culpa Friday, by apologizing because his sponsors pretty much forced him too to his family and fans.

Many people wonder who Tiger hugged after his speech, first he hugged his Mom, then a Nike Rep, a Tiger Woods Inc rep, the PGA tour commissioner and couple of personal friends.

Basically a bunch of people that kiss his ass on the daily.

Shhhhhhh.... were broke.

Jennifer Lopez, was once the hottest thing on her own block and we were fooled by the rocks that she got.

It appears those rocks may have to be downgraded, as Jenny hasn’t dropped anything relevant since her ass hit the floor at the AMA’s.

So now her record label is dropping her and Jenny’s handlers are scrambling to find a new deal. Her marriage to Mark Anthony is now starting to make sense.

Will it be the S, M, L or XL Janet on the Jackson 5 world tour?

Jermain Jackson…. who has about as much credibility lately as the balloon boys father, is claiming that his little sister Janet will be joining him and his brothers on a Jackson 5 world tour.

Sounds like a Jermaine-a-fib.

They dont make buttons like they used too

Tiger Woods held a short and contrived press conference today to offer up an apology to his fans, family and sponsors.

Tiger however did not offer any apologies for all the broken hearted and jilted cocktail waitresses, pro’s, ho’s and porn stars he ran through.

One porn star in particular Joslyn James was so distressed by the non-apology, she held a press conference immediately after Tigers, demanding an apology of her own.